Tuesday, 25 October 2011

Lies They Tell You Part II : "Exercise is Good for You."

You see them everywhere: running down Main Street, bobbing up and down in the pool, starting their cars in the early morning to go to the gym before work. They are believing the lie they're told every day by friends, family, media, and culture: that exercise is good for you.

I mean, any way you look at it, it's just not logical. Take running, for instance. Before people started to run because of a lie, why and when did people run? They either ran because they needed to catch something or because someone was trying to catch them. Either way, it was a stress-riddled pursuit (no pun intended) and only done when absolutely necessary. It was never meant to be a hobby, as it has now been turned into. I don't understand why people would want to spend their lives pretending that someone's chasing them, unless they have a persecution complex.

Another concern is that exercise is expensive. It is common knowledge that anything that wallet thinning just can't be good for you. Because you can't go to the gym in a pair of ratty cut-offs and an old t-shirt, you have to have trim, matching sportswear, a snazzy visor, Nike sneakers and not to mention loads of ankle socks. And, then of course some sort of device to listen to music while exerting yourself (we won't even mention the gym membership). Too bad your pretty outfit is rather marred by a red, sweating face as you go through your tortuous routine.

Which brings me to my next point. Do you know what sweat is? It's a salty liquid that, in moments of extreme exertion, comes out through your pores. How can that possibly be healthy?

Another little sign: You know the day after you do fifty push-ups...that feeling? I think you could call it feeling sore. It's your muscles screaming to you, "For heaven's sake! Enough, enough already!"

See? When you think of it logically, exercise just can't be good for you. Don't believe this troublesome lie and have true freedom from guilt.

Add some whole wheat flour to the pie pastry, vaccuum through your house once a week, wash the windows vigorously, and throw your visor in the garbage can. You'll live a happier life, I promise you.

- Millie

Note: The author of this post does not consider walking to be exercise and therefore indulges in the activity a few times a week. Also, the beliefs expressed in this post are not necessarily endorsed by all other contributing members of this blog. Please pray for Abigail. I hear she's been jogging...


  1. Bahaha Millie! :D I'm gonna have to say that I'm definitely in the pro-gym camp, but this made me chuckle :)

  2. Ahahaha...I like your fine print. ;)

  3. Love it! And believe me, I'm praying for Abi!

  4. I definitely giggled out loud at your fine print :P

    Does Zumba count... :/ :p