Friday, 8 February 2013

A Confession

Yes, I have a confession to make.

I almost decided to not to post, today, because Liv had already done so. And, by the way, blows any meagre contribution of mine out of the water. Please notice her fantastic blue skinny jeans in the background of the the picture. And her L.L. Bean boots. How can I compete with them?

But, then I decided that if I didn't sit down and blog NOW, I might run out of ambition.

Hence the confession. I'm a failure as a blogger. Yeah, you didn't need me to tell you that. I honestly have very good, even grand, plans. But, the time is never right, or I'm not in the mood, or something else happens, or the horrible monster that is technology brings me to a stalemate.

So, yes, I'm a failure as a blogger.

And while I'm on the subject, I also happen to be a failure in a lot of other ways. I'm a failure when it comes to crafty DIY projects. Picture taking? Not even going to try, man! Cooking? Only with a lot of prayer and tender care.

Maybe it's just part of becoming a noticeable individual, but it's truly laughable to see the enormous gap between my goals, and the reality. I have always strived to be a finisher and not just a beginner. And I do pretty well at that, I must say. But, sometimes my finished projects aren't as great as I imagined.

So, I think I'm going to be such a great nanny for a week - make amazing meals, reorganize bookshelves and clean closets, do fun crafts with the kids (despite my phobia of glue and paper bits), and look amazing while I do it. Really, I end up crying on the couch with a sore throat and an exceedingly bad attitude. Did any one say epic fail?

I spend a year working on a novel. And it turns out to be a rather dweeby little manuscript that can easily be read in an hour. No piece de resistance there, that's for sure.

I want to be the chatty, compassionate, dazzling conversationalist who has people in stitches over the dinner table or has people crying on her shoulder at church. Yeah, that's just laughable.

So, yes I'm a failure in more ways than one. Public opinion would agree. "What is this single young thing doing with a couple of part time jobs and exceedingly strange passion for the local church, when she could be going to university, travelling, and making something of herself?"

I'm comforted they said the same sort of things about Jesus. Talk about epic fail - dying on a cross when you're supposed to be the saviour of the world. "King of the Jews." Don't you see the irony?

Life's ironic, isn't it? It's good not to take yourself too seriously. Giggle when you burn your supper, and smile through your tears when you scrape your knee, and know you're not alone.

"For when I am weak, then I am strong." Let's take comfort in that, okay?


"So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamites. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
 - 2 Cor. 12: 7 - 10


  1. So... all this time I thought you were awesome. You know why? Because Nicoline told me that you went to young parents in your church and offered to help them while they worked on projects. 'Everyone will want to have that girl around,' I thought.
    And all this time, it was just grace at work. Huh.

  2. p.s. Having ppl cry on your shoulder at church is overrated. Just sayin'.

  3. I've been trying to decide if giving you a list of all my failures would be in any way encouraging... some things that spring immediately to mind are taking pictures, sewing clothes, keeping a journal, and watering my plants (ok I'm getting a bit better at the last one!). You wrote an excellent reminder to rely on grace. I also want you to know that I miss you and you are an amazing friend!

  4. This was such a neat post, Millie! Trust me, I draw great encouragement from this, because, I too, am a failure as a blogger. Or, at least, I am for now. :D But His grace is so overwhelming. Thanks for the reminder. :)

  5. Thank you, everyone for your comments! You all are a source of great encouragement to me.
    Keep on in His grace.

    - Millie

  6. I am glad you decided to post Millie. I love your honesty. Frankly, too many people hide behind achievements, and pose as having life all figured out. Being transparent is a gift. Cherish it. Know that everyone, inside, and behind the smile, has shortcomings. EVERYONE. You are far from a failure, you are perfectly you..your strength, and weakness. Let someone else do the crafting, photography, and baking. Enjoy the journey of life, and take peace in knowing God has a plan for you. He will reveal to you your strengths in due time.

  7. Love your honesty but more than that I love how you bring it back to Christ. Grace!